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Es sind "nur" 450 Wörter.Wäre sehr nett ich muss das morgen abgeben und bin nicht so gut in Englisch.Hab mir mühe gegeben aber da kann man bestimmt einiges verbessern.Hier der Text.
I.Write a summary of the story
The story „Shopping with Sonia“ deals with a girl named Sonia,who gets hooked on shoplifts ,what becomes her fatality.
One day Sonia needs buttons to make a cardigan.That way she goes to Woolworth.There is only one kind of buttons which are acceptable.They are expensive but good.Unfortunately she lost one button of her package why she has to buy a new expensive package to have enough for a cardigan.Then her friend Pam entices her to steal a new package because then she hasn´t to buy those “expensive” buttons again and also it´s unlikely to be taken by a store detective there.After she steals them all the time she thinks a store detective is following her but she could´t know who one looks like.
The shoplift is not an expection.She gets hooked on shoplifts and she steals more and more.It´s seems it´s her hobby because she has enough money.
Ron is such a nice boy and Sonia likes him.It seems that he has a sizable income, seeable at his nice clothes.He works at Carter´s , the biggest depatment store in town but Sonia doesn´t know his function there.
To his birthday Sonia wants to present him a cigarette lighter.She steals it at Carter´s and on the street Ron´s voice apperas in the background.Ron was a detective there.She was nabbed by her own friend.
II.1.Explain –why Sonia started stealing, -why she continued, -who or what is reponsible.
Sonia started stealing because of Pam.After Sonia bought a package of buttons she lost one and so she needed a new one.But it was only possible to buy a pack and not one alone.Then Pam inveigleded Sonia to steal because she wanted that Sonia doesn´t spend too much money for those buttons.She went on with stealing because it was like a hobby for her and she adapted to steal.
II.2.What is Sonia´s and Ron´s relationship like?
She likes him and also she has feelings for him. To get more sympathy of him she decides to present him something really great.
They are friends since a short time and I think Sonia felt in love.
III.Shoplifting has become a popular sport.Comment on this statement.
Many kind of people do shoplifting.Poor people because they haven´t got much money,small kids because they want to show their fearless or normal people like Sonia who get hooked on shoplifts.There are different reasons for the people sometimes.I think it´s not so bad to steal
things.It´s ok to get a conflict with the law by this way instead of bashing humans for example.This is a good way to get advised.
But of course it is better when you don´t steal because there is always a way to solve problems or just help people who want to steal.
könnte ein mod bitte meine posts und die von dem gast entfernen?es ist mir sehr wichtig und ich will nicht das der thread wegen einem solchen horst verschoben/geschlossen wird.
darph
2004-04-25, 21:59:06
;( Da ist vieles falsch, aber was mir direkt auffällt...
Leerzeichen kommen NACH einem Satzzeichen, davor kommen keine.
fatality ist sicher unpassend.
"There is only one kind of buttons which are acceptable." for her.
"she lost one button of her package why she has to buy"
...that is why... - why ist ein Fragewort.
" enough for a cardigan." the cardigan - wurde ja schon erwähnt.
"then she hasn´t to buy those “expensive”"
1. so she would not have to buy those...
2. Ein Apostroph ist kein Akzent!
3. In geschriebenen Texten verwendet man kein doesn't, wouldn't etc. Da schreibt man das aus.
"and also it´s unlikely to be taken by a store detective there"
it is (oder it's) - nicht it´s
taken heißt genommen - passender wäre hier wohl caught (geschnappt)
"After she steals them all the time she thinks a store detective is following her but she could´t know who one looks like."
Der Satz hat (sorry) so keinen Sinn.
Zeitangaben kommen an das Ende eines Satzes, oder an den Anfang. Außerdem ist all the time ein ziemlich langer Zeitraum ;)
While she is in the shop she believes that she is not followed by a detective. But she doesn't know how a detective looks like.
"The shoplift is not an expection."
Ladendiebstahl ist keine Erwartung?
Die weiteren zwei Sätze - da machst du es dir ziemlich Einfach (inhaltlich)
"Ron is such a nice boy and Sonia likes him."
er ist SO ein netter Junge. Laß das such weg. Das gehört nicht hier rein.
so, jetzt macht jemand anders weiter :)
Danke schonmal @ darph.Echt nett ;) .Übernimmt jemand?muss ich morgen abgeben,wäre cool.
I.Write a summary of the story
The story „Shopping with Sonia“ deals with a girl named Sonia,who gets hooked on shoplifts ,what becomes a disaster for her.
One day Sonia needs buttons to make a cardigan.That way she goes to Woolworth.There is only one kind of buttons which are acceptable for her.They are expensive but good.Unfortunately she loses one button of her package.That’s why she has to buy a new expensive package to have enough for a cardigan.Then her friend Pam entices her to steal a new package because so she wouldn’t have to buy those buttons again and also it’s unlikely to be caught by a store detective there. When she leaves the shop she believes that she is not followed by a detective. But also she doesn't know how a detective looks like.
This shoplift is not an exception.She gets hooked on shoplifts and she steals more and more.It’s seems it’s her hobby because she has enough money.It’s not necessary that she has to steal.
Ron is a nice boy and Sonia likes him.It seems that he has a sizable income, seeable at his nice clothes.He works at Carter’s , the biggest depatment store in town but Sonia doesn’t know his function there.
To his birthday Sonia wants to present him a cigarette lighter.She steals it at Carter’s and on the street Ron’s voice apperas in the background.Ron was a detective there.She was nabbed by her own friend.
II.1.Explain –why Sonia started stealing, -why she continued, -who or what is reponsible.
Sonia started stealing because of Pam.After Sonia bought a package of buttons she lost one and so she needed a new one.But it was only possible to buy a pack and not one alone.Then Pam inveigleded Sonia to steal because she wanted that Sonia doesn’t spend too much money for those buttons.She went on with stealing because it was like a hobby for her and she adapted to steal.
II.2.What is Sonia’s and Ron’s relationship like?
She likes him and also she has feelings for him. To get more sympathy of him she decides to present him something really great.
They are friends since a short time and I think Sonia felt in love.
III.Shoplifting has become a popular sport.Comment on this statement.
Many kind of people do shoplifting.Poor people because they haven’t got much money,small kids because they want to show their fearless or normal people like Sonia who get hooked on shoplifts.There are different reasons for the people sometimes.I think it´s not so bad to steal
things.It’s ok to get a conflict with the law by this way instead of bashing humans for example.This is a good way to get advised.
But of course it is better when you don’t steal because there is always a way to solve problems or just help people who want to steal.
Baalzamon
2004-04-25, 22:26:19
Bin jetzt auch nicht der Super English Profi, aber mal sehen.
Original geschrieben von Gast
I.Write a summary of the story
The story „Shopping with Sonia“ deals with a girl named Sonia,who gets hooked on shoplifts ,what becomes her fatality.
..deals of a girl..
..handelt von und nicht handelt mit?
There is only one kind of buttons which are acceptable.
..There's only one kind of button..
Sollte imho Einzahl sein
They are expensive but good.Unfortunately she lost one button of her package why she has to buy a new expensive package to have enough for a cardigan.
..so she has to buy..
Ist ja kein 'Fragesatz'
Then her friend Pam entices her to steal a new package because then she hasn´t to buy those “expensive” buttons again and also it´s unlikely to be taken by a store detective there.
..it's unlikely to get caught by a..
After she steals them all the time she thinks a store detective is following her but she could´t know who one looks like.
After she has stolen them..
imho falsche Zeit
The shoplift is not an expection.She gets hooked on shoplifts and she steals more and more.It´s seems it´s her hobby because she has enough money.
Ron is such a nice boy and Sonia likes him.It seems that he has a sizable income, seeable at his nice clothes.
seeable -> gibt's das Wort überhaubt? :kratz2:
imho besser: ..which can be seen..
He works at Carter´s , the biggest depatment store in town but Sonia doesn´t know his function there.
..department store..
To his birthday Sonia wants to present him a cigarette lighter.She steals it at Carter´s and on the street Ron´s voice apperas in the background.Ron was a detective there.She was nabbed by her own friend.
Ron is a detective there.
Ist er doch immer noch, oder?
II.1.Explain –why Sonia started stealing, -why she continued, -who or what is reponsible.
Sonia started stealing because of Pam.After Sonia bought a package of buttons she lost one and so she needed a new one.But it was only possible to buy a pack and not one alone.Then Pam inveigleded Sonia to steal because she wanted that Sonia doesn´t spend too much money for those buttons.
..because she don't want Sonia to spend..
She went on with stealing because it was like a hobby for her and she adapted to steal.
II.2.What is Sonia´s and Ron´s relationship like?
She likes him and also she has feelings for him. To get more sympathy of him she decides to present him something really great.
They are friends since a short time and I think Sonia felt in love.
..Sonia fell..
falsch dekliniert (oder konjugiert, kann mir das nicht merken) :kratz2:
III.Shoplifting has become a popular sport.Comment on this statement.
Many kind of people do shoplifting.Poor people because they haven´t got much money,small kids because they want to show their fearless or normal people like Sonia who get hooked on shoplifts.
..want to show they are fearless..
There are different reasons for the people sometimes.
Klingt irgendwie komisch. Was willst du damit eigentlich sagen? -> Was macht das sometimes da?
I think it´s not so bad to steal
things.It´s ok to get a conflict with the law by this way instead of bashing humans for example.This is a good way to get advised.
It's ok to get in conflict..
But of course it is better when you don´t steal because there is always a way to solve problems or just help people who want to steal.
Der letzte Absatz klingt auch komisch ..or just help people who want to steal. :???:
Wie gesagt weiss nicht ob das alles so richtig ist was ich da geschrieben habe, mein English-LK ist schon ein paar Jährchen her.
Wenn das hier gegen das Hausaufgaben-Verbot verstösst bitte ich das zu entschuldigen und kommentarlos zu löschen.
€dit: sehe das mir schon jemand zuvorgekommen ist :D
Danke!
Ich sehe keine Gründe warum das so schlimm sein sollte bei einem solchen Thema zu helfen.Ich lerne dabei ja auch!
I.Write a summary of the story
The story „Shopping with Sonia“ deals of a girl named Sonia, who gets hooked on shoplifts , what becomes a disaster for her.
One day Sonia needs buttons to make a cardigan.That way she goes to Woolworth. There is only one kind of button which are acceptable for her. They are expensive but good. Unfortunately she loses one button of her package. That’s why she has to buy a new expensive package to have enough for a cardigan. Then her friend Pam entices her to steal a new package because so she wouldn’t have to buy those buttons again and also it’s unlikely to be caught by a store detective there. When she leaves the shop she believes that she is not followed by a detective. But also she doesn't know how a detective looks like. This shoplift is not an exception. She gets hooked on shoplifts and she steals more and more. It’s seems it’s her hobby because she has enough money. It’s not necessary that she has to steal.
Ron is a nice boy and Sonia likes him. It seems that he has a sizable income, which can be seen by his nice clothes. He works at Carter’s , the biggest department store in town but Sonia doesn’t know his function there.
To his birthday Sonia wants to present him a cigarette lighter. She steals it at Carter’s and on the street Ron’s voice apperas in the background. Ron is a detective there. She was nabbed by her own friend.
II.1.Explain -why Sonia started stealing, -why she continued, -who or what is reponsible.
Sonia started stealing because of Pam. After Sonia bought a package of buttons she lost one and so she needed a new one. But it was only possible to buy a pack and not one alone. Then Pam inveigleded Sonia to steal because she don't wanted Sonia to spend so much money for those buttons. She went on with stealing because it was like a hobby for her and she adapted to steal.
II.2.What is Sonia’s and Ron’s relationship like?
She likes him and also she has feelings for him. To get more sympathy of him she decides to present him something really great.
They are friends since a short time and I think Sonia fell in love.
III.Shoplifting has become a popular sport.Comment on this statement.
Many kind of people do shoplifting. Poor people because they haven’t got much money, small kids because they want to show their fearless or normal people like Sonia who get hooked on shoplifts. There are different reasons for the people. I think it´s not so bad to steal
things. It’s ok to get in conflict with the law by this way instead of bashing humans for example. This is a good way to get advised.
But of course it is better when you don’t steal because there is always a way to solve problems.
Baalzamon
2004-04-25, 23:08:46
Ok ich probiers nochmal :D
Original geschrieben von Gast
I.Write a summary of the story
The story „Shopping with Sonia“ deals of a girl named Sonia, who gets hooked on shoplifts , what becomes a disaster for her.
..what becomes..
Bin mir nicht ganz sicher ob das nicht auch ..which becomes.. heissen muss. Anybody?
One day Sonia needs buttons to make a cardigan.That way she goes to Woolworth.
That way.. klingt für mich komisch. Ein einfaches 'So she goes..' sollte es auch tun.
There is only one kind of button which are acceptable for her.
Habe ich gerade auch übersehen:
..one kind of button, which is acceptable..
They are expensive but good. Unfortunately she loses one button of her package. That’s why she has to buy a new expensive package to have enough for a cardigan.
..for the cardigan..
Du beziehst dich hir ja auf dasselbe wie vorhin, nicht irgendeine.
Then her friend Pam entices her to steal a new package because so she wouldn’t have to buy those buttons again and also it’s unlikely to be caught by a store detective there.
imho 'because' weglassen
When she leaves the shop she believes that she is not followed by a detective. But also she doesn't know how a detective looks like.
But she also doesn't know..
This shoplift is not an exception. She gets hooked on shoplifts and she steals more and more. It’s seems it’s her hobby because she has enough money. It’s not necessary that she has to steal.
It's not necessary for her to steal.
Ron is a nice boy and Sonia likes him. It seems that he has a sizable income, which can be seen by his nice clothes. He works at Carter’s , the biggest department store in town but Sonia doesn’t know his function there.
..know whats his job there.
Trifft wohl eher was du sagen möchtest
To his birthday Sonia wants to present him a cigarette lighter. She steals it at Carter’s and on the street Ron’s voice apperas in the background.
appears -> Druckfehler ;)
Ron is a detective there. She was nabbed by her own friend.
II.1.Explain -why Sonia started stealing, -why she continued, -who or what is reponsible.
Sonia started stealing because of Pam. After Sonia bought a package of buttons she lost one and so she needed a new one. But it was only possible to buy a pack and not one alone. Then Pam inveigleded Sonia to steal because she don't wanted Sonia to spend so much money for those buttons.
Oops, hab mich da selber vertan. Sollte heissen:
..she doesn't want Sonia..
dritte Person ->> does
wanted ist definitiv falsch hier
She went on with stealing because it was like a hobby for her and she adapted to steal.
II.2.What is Sonia’s and Ron’s relationship like?
She likes him and also she has feelings for him. To get more sympathy of him she decides to present him something really great.
They are friends since a short time and I think Sonia fell in love.
III.Shoplifting has become a popular sport.Comment on this statement.
Many kind of people do shoplifting. Poor people because they haven’t got much money, small kids because they want to show their fearless or normal people like Sonia who get hooked on shoplifts.
fearless ist ein adjektiv kein Substantiv, von daher muss es 'to show they are fearless' heissen -> 'sie sind furchtlos', nicht 'ihre furchtlos', das was du da machen willst ist wohl Furchtlosigkeit -> fearlessness
There are different reasons for the people.
People have different reasons to steal.
würde ich dann aber vom Aufbau her hinter 'Many kind of people do shoplifting' schreiben.
Oder noch besser: 'Many kind of people do shoplifting for different reasons.' Und dann wie gehabt die Gründe aufzählen.
I think it´s not so bad to steal things. It’s ok to get in conflict with the law by this way instead of bashing humans for example. This is a good way to get advised.
But of course it is better when you don’t steal because there is always a way to solve problems.
..always another way..
Ich glaub ich schmeiss mein Studium und werde Englischleher ;D ;)
Wie immer alle Angaben ohne Gewähr ;)
I.Write a summary of the story
The story „Shopping with Sonia“ deals of a girl named Sonia, who gets hooked on shoplifts , what becomes a disaster for her.
One day in January Sonia needs buttons to make a cardigan.That way she goes to Woolworth. There is only one kind of button which is acceptable for her. They are expensive but good. Unfortunately she loses one button of her package. That’s why she has to buy a new expensive package to have enough for the cardigan. Then her friend Pam entices her to steal a new package. So she wouldn’t have to buy those buttons again and also it’s unlikely to be caught by a store detective there. When she leaves the shop she believes that she is not followed by a detective. But she also doesn't know how a detective looks like. This shoplift is not an exception. She gets hooked on shoplifts and she steals more and more. It’s seems it’s her hobby because she has enough money. It’s not necessary for her to steal.
Ron is a nice boy and Sonia likes him. It seems that he has a sizable income, which can be seen by his nice clothes. He works at Carter’s , the biggest department store in town but Sonia doesn’t know his function there.
To his birthday Sonia wants to present him a cigarette lighter. She steals it at Carter’s and on the street Ron’s voice appears in the background. Ron is a detective there. She was nabbed by her own friend. (265 words)
II.1.Explain -why Sonia started stealing, -why she continued, -who or what is reponsible.
Sonia started stealing because of Pam. After Sonia bought a package of buttons she lost one and so she needed a new one. But it was only possible to buy a pack and not one alone. Then Pam inveigleded Sonia to steal because she didn’t want Sonia to spend so much money for those buttons. She went on with stealing because it was like a hobby for her and she adapted to steal. (69 words)
II.2.What is Sonia’s and Ron’s relationship like?
She likes him and also she has feelings for him. To get more sympathy of him she decides to present him something really great.
They are friends since a short time and I think Sonia fell in love. (38 words)
III.Shoplifting has become a popular sport.Comment on this statement.
Many kind of people do shoplifting. Poor people because they haven’t got much money, small kids because they want to show their fearlessness or normal people like Sonia who get hooked on shoplifts.People have different reasons to steal. I think it´s not so bad to steal
things. It’s ok to get in conflict with the law by this way instead of bashing humans for example. This is a good way to get advised.
But of course it is better when you don’t steal because there is always another way to solve problems. (97 words)
Words:469
Baalzamon
2004-04-25, 23:31:46
Das sieht doch gut aus. Sind bestimmt immer noch ein paar Fehler drin, aber die finde ich jetzt auch nicht so auf die sSchnelle, bzw. weiss auch gerade nicht, wie man das noch anders machen kann. Ausserdem guckt dich dein(e) LehrerIn bestimmt komisch an, wenn du plötzlich eine Summary in perfekten Englisch ablieferst. Hoffe geholfen zu haben.
Und immer dran denken: Nobody is perfect :anonym:
Original geschrieben von Baalzamon
Das sieht doch gut aus. Sind bestimmt immer noch ein paar Fehler drin, aber die finde ich jetzt auch nicht so auf die sSchnelle, bzw. weiss auch gerade nicht, wie man das noch anders machen kann. Ausserdem guckt dich dein(e) LehrerIn bestimmt komisch an, wenn du plötzlich eine Summary in perfekten Englisch ablieferst. Hoffe geholfen zu haben.
Und immer dran denken: Nobody is perfect :anonym:
Full Ack!
Vielen Dank das du mir geholfen hast!Schön wenn zu so später Stunde noch nette Forumsmitglieder da sind. :)
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