Chuck Norris Facts

[Marmicon]

Chuck Norris Facts (www.chucknorrisfacts.com)

:D :D



_______

[MasterMaxx]

W00t
Alles im Chuck norris Fieber?
Letztens hatte bei CSS der ganze Server von Chuck norris gelabert^^
Es geilste war: Chuck noris drunks his own piss. Now you can buy it as Red Bull

[Sonni]

gibts die seite nich auch noch irgendwo auf deutsch?

[Bl@de]

Unangefochtene Nr.1

When Chuck Norris falls in Water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris ! ;D

[Megamember]

"Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made."

Lol

[Zaffi]

der beste ist echt der hier: If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

;D
einfach nur göttlich.... und meine Antwort wenn mich mal wieder so eine Made nach der Uhrzeit fragt...

[Marshall]

Natürlich, ist sogar noch viel lustiger als im englischen KLICK (http://translate.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chucknorrisfacts.com%2F&langpair=en%7Cde&hl=de&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&prev=%2Flanguage_tools)
;D
Au ja die Klemme Norris.. :biggrin: :biggrin:

"Der Hauptexport der Klemme Norris ist Schmerz.!"

[edgecrusher]

diese facts sind der hammer, ich hab noch nie so viel gelacht wie beim lesen ebend jener :D

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

der absolute hammer :D

[Henrik]

geil :D

ist das ne TV Serie?

[mAxmUrdErEr]

OLOL, die Seite ist mal wirklich lustig.

BTW:
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris can turn normal water into holy water by beating the hell out of it with his fists. :ulol:

[fi.suc]

Chuck Norris can turn normal water into holy water by beating the hell out of it with his fists. :ulol:

LOL

der is zum kugeln ;D

[Fullover]

Genial, die Seite. X-D

[AtTheDriveIn]

göttlich! ;D



Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.


ich kann nicht mehr! :D :D :D

[Marmicon]

Den hier fand ich nicht schlecht:

"If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. ":D X-D

"Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill."

[RuteniuM]

Chuck Norris Facts (www.chucknorrisfacts.com)

:D :D



_______X-D Einfach nur ROFL.

[Schiller]

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajama

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

ROFL! Ich kann net mehr. Obwohl ich es kenne, ist es immer wieder geil. ;D :ulol: :lol: ;D X-D


LOLOLOLOL: In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany. X-(

[Thorwan]

Hmm, ziemlich genau das gleiche habe ich vor einigen Monaten zu Vin Diesel gesehen. Allerdings war es da jedem möglich, Sachen hinzuzufügen und die Top 30 entstanden aus den Votes für die Sprüche. Den Großteil kannte ich schon davon, sind aber auch einige coole neue Sachen dabei :)

Edit: http://www.4q.cc/vin/index.php?topthirty

[FordPr3f3cT]

das is echt mal die geilste seite die ich bis jetzt gesehen hab ;) zum totlachen göttlich! ;D ;D

[_CaBaL_]

Da war doch mal Was (http://www.forum-3dcenter.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=262250&highlight=chuck+norris)

Aber ich hau mich immer wieder weg.

[(del676)]

When Vin Diesel had his first wet dream, he nearly drowned.

rotfl

[DeMarco]

http://img70.imageshack.us/img70/441/4390b4dedd3f94zm.gif (http://imageshack.us)

"Chuck Norris won 3 Grammy Awards for the sound of his foot making contact with someone's face"

[John Williams]

Chuck Norris ist ein Juwell des B-Movie Action Film!
Chuck Norris hat den geilsten Bart der Welt!
Chuck Norrris ist der Texas Ranger!
Chuck Norris ist eine Hure!

[Jules]

chuck ist n verdammter hurenbengel
aber der hat doc soweit ich weiß irgendetwas erfunden.....irgendeine sportart.
nicht auslachen...aber ich glaube kickboxen oder sowas....korrigiert mich.

[EvilOlive]

http://www.watchmeeatahotdog.com/images/diet/norris.jpg

[John Williams]

http://www.watchmeeatahotdog.com/images/diet/norris.jpg

jo, auch schon esehen, aber wers glaubt
sind ja voll ähnlich, und wann soll das gewesen sein, direkt nach den dreharbeiten mit bruce lee ; :rolleyes:

[DeMarco]

Fällt mir schwer, den Thread einfach so sterben zu lassen, auch wenn der Chuck Norris Hype schon lang vorbei ist. :redface:
Deshalb hier noch ein paar altbekannte facts & vids:


-Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

-Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. Not from ancestry, the man ate a fucking indian.

-Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/50.html
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/51.html
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/52.html
http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/53.html
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1651965/
http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1652620/

[dragonmaster]

chuck wird von bruce (lee) geownt, das war so und das wird auch immer so bleiben

[DeMarco]

I just can´t let it die.... :redface:


NEW facts about Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris rents videos and never rewinds them, ever.

When Chuck Norris was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Chuck Norris".

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Chuck Norris spared your life.

Chuck Norris won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

Every day is the longest day of Chuck Norris's life. For terrorists, the shortest.

What color is Chuck Norris's blood? Trick question. Chuck Norris does not bleed.

Chuck Norris once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

When Chuck stares into the sun, the sun flintches.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says its beef. Then it's beef.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Chuck Norris does not feel like carrying you.

James Bond has a license to kill. Chuck Norris don't need any licenses.

Chuck Norris' calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once double teamed a girl.. by himself.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Chuck Norris. Sounds like a fair fight.

Chuck Norris was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Chuck Norris.

When the kids born in the twenty first century grow up they will not have heroes, but rather Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the only hero.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When life gave Chuck Norris lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.
Chuck Norris hates lemonade.

Chuck Norris doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

You can lead a horse to water. Chuck Norris can make him drink.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

When Chuck Norris masturbates, all women within 3 miles have orgasms.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Simon Says should be renamed to Chuck Norris Says because if Chuck Norris says something then you better do it.

Killing Chuck Norris doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Chuck Norris would vote for Hillary Clinton to be president just so he could assassinate her.

Chuck Norris does the Sunday New York Times Crossword Puzzle in ink.

When Google can't find something, it asks Chuck Norris for help.

In 96 hours, Chuck Norris has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Chuck Norris way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

Why did the terorrist cross the street? To get hit by a car before Chuck Norris could get him.

When Chuck Norris watches a pot, it boils immediately.

Chuck Norris once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball point pen. This lead to the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword."

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Chuck Norris less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

In kindergarten, Chuck Norris killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

It would only take 1 bullet for Chuck Norris to kill 50 Cent.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can assemble the entire contents of an IKEA store without instructions or an alan key.

Scissors are scared to run with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris got Hellen Keller to talk.

People with amnesia still remember Chuck Norris.

[Thorwan]

Einige davon sind aus den Jack Bauer Facts (http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty) übernommen, wo diese auch wesentlich mehr Sinn ergeben (Beispielsweise 96 hours/93 people) :)

[Mantikor]

Was geht eigentilch grad mit Norris ab? In Guild Wars wurde Ewigkeiten über CN rumgespammt in den PvP-Arenen..... für Tage!

Mfg der Mantikor

[Neon3D]

echt witzige page :)

[Jubba]

grad mal gefunden..

http://gorillamask.net/cnbest.shtml

xD

[h00ligan]

grad mal gefunden..

http://gorillamask.net/cnbest.shtml

xD

Chuck rockt (y)

[deekey777]

Hat jemand hier Dodge Ball gesehen?

[Kinehs]

Hat jemand hier Dodge Ball gesehen?

Na logisch, geiler Film, platter, unvorhersehbarer Humor.

"Kate, time to put your mouth where the balls are" ;D ;D