dies ist der thread in / welchem sich alles um die / besten HAIKUS dreht

[turboschlumpf]

in anlehnung an die southpark folge welche mir gerade wieder in den sinn gekommen ist:

her mit den dümmsten, witzigsten etc. haikus die ihr kennt und finden könnt.

regeln??
scheisst auf die haiku regeln,
hauptsache die zeilen haben 5/7/5 silben.

spam und flamewar erlaubt, aber nur in haiku form.

[nggalai]

Den hier hab' ich einer Studienkollegin zugeschickt, welche meinte, dass meine Einladung zum Dinner ein Versuch meinerseits sei, sie aufzureissen. Konkret hatte sie mir eine E-mail geschickt, die das folgende beinhaltete:

"Stop and reconsider! I really like you as a friend, but I don't think that blablablalbalba . . ."

Darauf hab' ich ihr den folgenden, etwas holprigen Haiku zugeschickt:

"He is gay!" they say,
And they are right, for I do
Prefer mostly men.

;)

ta,
-Sascha.rb

[turboschlumpf]

na ihr scheint ja icht wirklich kreativ zu sein in sachen haiku.

[nggalai]

Die Leute pennen
Oder vielleicht mögen's nicht
Ihr Hirn anstrengen?

ta,
.rb

[turboschlumpf]

[Classroom]

Mr.Garrison: Today children we are going to learn about Japenese poems called haikus. A haiku is just like a normal American poem except that it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid. For example...uh where's Eric Cartman?
Stan: That's a haiku?
Mr.Garrison: No I'm asking why Eric Cartman isn't at school.
Stan: Oh.
Mr.Garrison: Was he on the school bus this morning?
Stan: No.
Kyle starts moving his fingers doing a haiku
Kyle: Fatass Cartman...was not on the school bus today....what a big fat turd.
Mr.Garrison: Oh, very good haiku Kyle. Yes, haikus have five syllables, then seven, then five. Kenny, can you give us another example?
Kenny: When I get blowjobs....that I cum through discharging...that's the way to fuck.
Stan: What's a discharge?
Kyle: Mr.Garrison, since haikus suck so much ass, can we go back to the planitarium again?
Stan: Yeah I wanna go to the planetarium again too!
Mr.Garrison: But you were just there, why do you wanna go again so soon?
[Silence]
Stan: Yeah, why DO we wanna go again so soon?
Kyle: I dunno. I just have this sudden urge to go back.
Mr.Garrison: Well I guess we could go again since it's just down the street.
Cartman comes in
Cartman: Well hello, it's all my little friends with all their little dreams.
Mr.Garrison: Eric, where have you been?
Cartman: Let's see where have I been, where have I been.....
Stan: Where have you been Cartman?
Cartman: Well I might have been over at the Cheesy Poof call back, winning regional championship!
He unrolls a certificate
Class gasps
Cartman: This is my regional championship certificate. Do you like it? Hey where's your regional champion certificate Clyde? Oh you don't have one? Hmm did you have a regional certificate Wendy? No? Apparently only I do!
Kyle does another haiku
Kyle: Ass full of pork fat...jiggles like a jello mold....mouth is flapping too.
Cartman: Your haiku insults have no affect on me Kyle. I'm regional champion.
Stan: Does that mean you're gonna be on that Cheesy Poof commercial?
Cartman: It's between me and four other kids. I'm on my way now with my mom to the finals.
Kyle does yet another haiku
Kyle: I bet you don't win...they don't let big fatasses...perform on TV.
Mr.Garrison: Very good Kyle.
Cartman attempts at a haiku
Cartman: Shut your god damn mouth...or else I'm gonna...kick you....squa....in the balls...asshole...ah damn it!